Lessons I've Learned the Hard Way on the Road to 22

A few days ago I turned 22, and today I look back on the long road that's lead me here. It doesn't involve Taylor Swift, the mourning of carefree days or the hardships of being a twenty-something, for somewhere along the way I fell into a few dark holes that gave me perspectives and experiences I never thought I'd need to learn for myself. Here's what a redemptive departure from self-destruction has taught me over the years.

Alcohol will not disinfect your internal wounds, no matter how much it stings on the way down.

You cannot save someone who is lost in themselves, no matter how hard you try. Likewise, you are the only one who can save yourself.

Some people believe in a God, or many Gods, and some do not. This has no effect whatsoever on how good of a person they are, on if their marriage will work, or on how they may try to right any wrongs they have committed. Get to know people for who they are, not what they believe.

Driving 120 kilometers an hour down a rural highway with Johnny Cash riding shotgun will not make things better but it will ease the pain more than another day spent alone in the dark.

Don’t cut into your arms thinking you will sow pure relief after planting the blade. Relief may come, yes, but it will be poisoned with the pollen of everything you were trying to drown out, causing your pain to grow fresh once again.

Do not keep reading articles on why you MUST travel RIGHT NOW or you're MISSING OUT FOREVER if you are currently unable to or are not interested. You know why you are not traveling now; you know the circumstances that are disallowing you to to take to the wind like the sparrow you watch out your front window every day. Your reality is different than theirs no matter how many times they write that there is no excuse for you not to be in India right now.

Always keep extra granola bars in your backpack for when you go into the city. You may not have the money or desire to give to everyone you see, but the man with the sign around his neck telling you he’s hungry needs that $.25 bar much more than you do.

Sometimes you mother will cry and you will need to hold her as she has held you so many times. Rock her gently and rub her back as she did to you; repeat the same little rhymes she told you when you’re little world felt like it was falling apart. remember that even super glue gives way sometimes and that it needs a bit of warmth and time to hold everything together again.

A horse will never judge you for anchoring yourself to her when you feel life is about to wash you away. Throw your arms around her neck and know that if you cry she will only pull you in closer to her with her soft, strong head.

People will say more with their eyes than with their words. Some of the strongest pain I’ve seen was accompanied by “I'm fine”'s, despite scarred eyes whispering that they no longer have desire to go on. Some of the most meaningful “I love you’s” have come from silent mouths despite eyes that scream it loud and clear through the storm. Some of the sweetest words come from wide grins whose message is made obsolete by cold eyes. Don’t believe someone if their eyes don’t match what they’re saying.

Everyone has problems and struggles and there is no scale of less or greater than when it comes to life experiences. Do not scoff at people who have problems that seem simple to you; do not tell others that you wish you had their problems instead of your own. You condescension will do nothing to ease their pain but it will make you seem like a pretentious asshole.

Stillness, like silence, is as necessary as business, but it is often abandoned and replaced with devices. Spend a day on an old, secluded trail with a bagged lunch and a notebook and notice how sometimes the sound of your own breathing and the scatter of leaves is the only soundtrack you need.

You do not need to love or be with someone simply because they love you. Sometimes love is not enough, no matter how much of a good person they are. Kiss their forehead one last time and walk away before you find yourself too attached to let go.

You are not a static character in a pre-determined setting. It is okay to go from being a leather jacket clad teenager finding solace in the streets of the city to a young woman with mud on her boots who is most at home tending to horses in a rural province 5,000 kilometers from home. Neither identity cancels out the other - change does not mean that the previous season was a false identity.

Your sisters are the only ones who will understand what it was like to grow up on unstable ground where earthquakes happened constantly without warning. Hold them close, physically when they are near and in spirit when they are far. When the earthquakes give way to a permanent chasm, they will be the only ones to ensure you're don't fall through the cracks as you aim to stand with a foot on each side.

You are made of stardust - do not let anyone extinguish your light.

You will make it. There may be nights where you cry yourself to sleep and where things don’t seem better in the morning and there may be weeks where you just don’t feel like staying around any longer. But you can, and will, make it.

Everyone has walked a different path; everyone knows different things to be true. Regardless of where you are in life, what has life been teaching you lately?

How to unwind after a long day

It's been one of those days. The customers wouldn't stop complaining, your boss refused to see the progress you've been making, you got a less than stellar mark on the paper you were sure that you had aced. As much as you want to forget about it all, it can be really difficult to leave the day behind. Here are some ways that you can help your body and mind unwind and relax after a long, hard day.

Drink Something Hot

Bring a cup of water or milk to a simmer on the stovetop, watching the tendrils of hot steam escape into the cool air. If you're making tea, pour the water slowly on to the teabag, watching as the colour infuses the clear water; if you're making warm milk, slowly add honey or vanilla to the milk to taste. Hold the cup with both your hands and breathe in the steam and aromas, let them open up your sinuses and refresh your sense of smell. When you sip, sip slowly; feel the warmth spread from the tip of your tongue to the base of your stomach.

Have a Bath

Start by turning on the water and running your hand under the fast stream as you feel for that temperature that's just right. Let the sound of running water soothe your thoughts as you light a candle in your favourite scent. Turn down the rest of the lights so that you can see the candle's flickering cast across the walls; let the glow dance across your skin. If you're able to, keep a little stash of natural bath products on hand for nights like these – you can even make them yourself. Put one in your tub, and step in. Feel the warmth envelop your body like a blanket and forget that there's a world outside your little paradise.

Watch the Sunset

If you're feeling restless, bundle up in your favourite socks and scarf and step outside, otherwise curl up in a blanket by the window with the best Western view. Watch as the sky paints with a palette unique to tonight and revel in the fact that there will never be another sunset quite like this. Crane your neck as you search for the first star and remind yourself that you are never to old to make a wish.

Turn Off Your Phone

We have become so reliant on our phones. They are a main source of communication, entertainment, information and, occasionally, stress. So much time is spent looking at that little bright screen that perhaps you should consider turning it off this evening. If there's someone you're wanting to connect with, write them a letter or call them instead. If you find yourself antsy after ten minutes without knowing what your friends are up to, try reading about someone's fictional world. You may find that you enjoy your immediate world a little more when you're able to occasionally able to separate it from everyone else's.

Write

Sometimes we're not aware of what is weighing us down in life until it's staring us in the face. Writing or journaling gives you the opportunity to process the day's or week's events without fear of judgement, and it may give you a chance to overcome worries that you didn't even know how to name. Let the pen be an extension of your arm, the ink of an extension of your veins; let yourself flow into the pages. No one will judge your written words – they're safe. If you're finding yourself in a rut, list five things that you're grateful for and how they enrich your life.

Read a Book

Perhaps the best way to completely lose yourself after a hard day is by losing yourself in someone else's life. Whether you prefer to read biographies, fiction, or even scientific textbooks, a book can take you out of the world you are in and introduce you to a whole new one, away from the stresses of school or the workplace. “A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies. The man who never reads lives only one.” - George R.R. Martin

Get a Good Night's Sleep

When the time has come to end the day, tuck yourself in between your softest blankets and sheets. Let yourself be covered in cotton form the tips of your toes to right below your chin and deeply breathe in the faint smell of fresh laundry that lingers between the fibers. Resist the urge to reach for your phone and go online until your eyes finally shut; instead, practice simple meditation, focusing on each breath and how it relaxes your body. Don't feel anxious if sleep doesn't come immediately – simply enjoy the last few moments of your day doing nothing, for tomorrow will come soon enough.

5 lessons the mountains can teach us

I grew up with the mountains. My first childhood home was in a valley, nestled snugly between several nameless peaks offering plenty of forested creeks to frolic in, while my second home was on the mountainside, high above the Pacific Ocean. Living amongst their beauty has lead me to believe that there are many things the mountains have to teach us, if we only take the time to watch and listen. As important as good council is in life, sometimes we need only to return to the earth to learn what we need to know.

we must stand strong during times of adversity

Mountains consistently face threats in the form of climate change, construction, forced demolition, over-grazing and logging; yet still strong they stand, a symbol of immobility for thousands of years. When times get difficult, often our first instinct is to crumble; to curl up in bed and stay there for a while, ignoring the problems around us. However, this does not allow for betterment for either yourself nor the problem. If you can stand strong, hold fast, and face adversity and your problems head on, you will be able to find healing and determination, giving yourself hope rather than giving yourself feelings of defeat and hopelessness that come with falling down and admitting defeat. 

often the most beautiful pursuits are the most dangerous

Growing up surrounded by ski hills, I often was greeted in the morning by newspaper headlines informing me of late night helicopter searches for hikers and skiers who had gone missing after venturing off trail to explore the mountain. If they were lucky enough to be found, they usually explained to the media that they simply wanted to see more of the mountain's beauty... but that the mountain's beauty was more dangerous than they had fathomed. Often the things in life that look the most attractive  - be it fame, riches or power - come with pitfalls that are easy to fall into if you are not aware of their existence. It is important for you to follow your dreams, but it is even more important to be on the lookout for pits that may cause you to stumble at the top. You want to enjoy the fruits of your hard work - don't allow them to be your downfall.

it is important to provide for others

When it rains, mountains are the first to receive the life giving water - yet they do not keep it for themselves. They retain enough to sustain their flora and fauna, and then they allow the rest of the water to flow down the hills and nourish the remaining ecosystems, villages and cities. When I lived in Vancouver, I got in the habit of keeping granola bars in my purse to give to anyone who lived on the streets that was hungry. I was working at the time, so I could afford the extra little expense. A granola bar was a small amount of food to me, yet it was possible it was the only food another person would eat all day. Similarly, there are probably things that you can do in life that may take a little from your resources, but give a lot to those who are in need. If a mountain kept all the rain for itself, not only would the land below dry up - the mountain would flood from all the excess.

the best surprises often pass us by

I have been fortunate enough to drive through the Rocky Mountains several times. Each drive takes my breath away, but there have been several times where spectacular moments occurred. Not long ago, my family and I were driving on the highway when we saw a grizzly bear cub right on the side of the road, observing the cars passing it by. We drove by slowly, marveling at the organic sight. Another time, we saw bighorn sheep fighting by ramming their giant horns at each other. We pulled over and watched, listening to the sound like thunder echoing throughout the mountains. Life is like the Rockies - there are beautiful surprises waiting for you. However, they are easy to miss. If you are prone to going through life plugged in with headphones on and eyes glued to your devices, try looking up once in a while to see what you may be missing. There is beauty in the everyday.

we must adapt to change

Although mountains are often considered stationary, they are constantly changing and shifting. The Appalachian Range used to be the tallest mountain range in the world, and now the highest Appalachian is only 3,000 feet tall due to environmental factors such as erosion. Yet these mountains, though different than before, are no less beautiful. The world today is changing in faster and in different ways than ever before. New technologies are being introduced. Tragedies are occurring at constant rates. Scientific discoveries are teaching us more about our world everyday. It seems as though the only constant anymore is change itself and the insecurities that come with it. While it may seem tempting to resist all news and live dependent on the information one wants to believe is stagnant, that fear will keep one from growing as a person. The world may be changing, but if we can adapt, we too can still live well and beautifully, letting time and experience soften our hardest ridges.

6 new reasons to fall in love with tea

I've always known that tea can have incredible health benefits, but a few years ago I found myself unable to find any that I enjoyed. When I was younger, my mom would make me cups of Red Rose and I got so much enjoyment out of watching the colour of the tea influsing the once clear water, straining my eyes to see how high the tendrils of steam were rising and putting my face over the cup to feel the warmth open my pores, yet as I got older, I replaced my tea with coffee. I just couldn't find any teas that were flavourful enough for me - but with the discovery of loose leaf, that all changed. Below are some of my favourites, the health benefits that each tea brings, and what they pair best with. If you don't consider yourself a tea drinker, perhaps one of these options can sway you to give it a try. All teas can be found at David's Tea or davidstea.com

Movie Night

Did you notice the pieces of popcorn in this tea? Movie night, a green tea, tastes just like a night out at the theatre. It has a base flavour of buttered popcorn and is sweetened by bits of maple and apple. Although it sounds really strange (and perhaps a little unappetizing - generally soggy pieces of popcorn are the worst), it's so incredible. Green tea is often hailed by many to be the healthiest drink on the planet, due to its high content of antioxidants and compounds that have been found to improve health and brain function and lower your risk of cancer. Movie Night is my go to tea when I'm looking for a calming, low caffeine tea and it pairs perfectly with a reflective journaling session or, of course, your favourite movie.

Pineapple Oolong

Pineapple Oolong, an oolong tea, has pieces of pineapple and apricot that create a tea that is a perfect way to enjoy summer's tastes in a winter mug. It's reminiscent of the fruit snacks that I used to trade my cookies for when I was a kid in the schoolyard, but a little less sweet and slightly more exotic. This tea also ices very well into a refreshing cold drink that could be brought to the gym. Oolong teas are known to lower the risk of heart attacks, help prevent tooth decay, and have anti-aging benefits. This tea is perfect for those cold days when all you want is a bit of summer, or for helping you control a candy craving.

Honeydew Maté

Honeydew Maté, a blend of green rooibos and yerba maté, has bits of melon in the tea that are complimented by white hibiscus blossoms. A light, juicy tea, Honeydew Maté has a ripeness to it that can only be beat by an actual melon. Yerba maté is known for its natural energy boost that will not cause you to crash (unlike coffee), while green rooibos is high in antioxidants and helps improve blood circulation. Honeydew Maté would be the perfect companion to a late night study session or a sleepy morning before work when you just can't seem to wake up.

Pumpkin Chai

Pumpkin Chai, a black tea, is probably the warmest, coziest tea I have ever had. It has pumpkin pieces, pumpkin pie spices such as cinnamon, cloves and cardamom, as well as little pumpkin candies and caramel pieces. This tea is incredible on its own, but even better in latte form topped with a bit of brown sugar. This is probably my favourite tea - its comfort in a cup. Black tea also provides plenty of health benefits, including the reduction of cortisol (stress hormones) in the body, a healthier digestive tract and a better immune system. Pumpkin Chai would be a perfect partner to a stormy night, warming you up while you catch up on a novel.

White Chocolate Frost

Drinking White Chocolate Frost, an herbal tea, is tasting all the best parts of winter. A refreshing warm drink, this tea has a peppermint leaf base with pieces of white chocolate and little peppercorns for a touch of spice. It's like a chocolate covered candy cane that one can drink all day long. Although herbal tea is technically not really a tea, peppermint tea can aide in sinus relief and is a natural remedy for stomach problems. White Chocolate Frost is a perfect drink to make after you've spent the day skating on the pond, and because it is caffeine free it will lull you to sleep rather than waking you up.

Carrot Cake

The only type tea I've duplicated on this list is oolong, and that's because I know for a fact how much an energy-providing drink can be needed throughout the day. Carrot Cake tastes like dessert in a mug - it contains pieces of carrot, coconut and apple - and I swear they must've snuck frosting into the tea somehow. The spices are a perfect compliment to the fruity bits. This tea is perfect for those nights when you're too full for dessert but still want something sweet, or for comfort after a long day.

Just a sample of my collection.. I've spent way too much on tea over the years. Oops.

The only thing that can make tea better is a favourite mug and lovely strainer.

If none of these sound appetizing enough for you, a few more of my favourites include Chocolate Chili Chai, Cookie Dough, Coffee Cake, Forever Nuts, Read My Lips and Honey Bee. I hope you've been inspired to try a few new teas - let me know in the comments what your favourite tea or warm drink is!